THE DEFENDANT HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY OF BEING AN ABSOLUTE MENACE. ⚖️
Charges include aggravated selective deafness, criminal misuse of free time and premeditated social evasion.
The defendant maintains they were simply too busy reading to respond. The court remains unconvinced.
This personalised Literary Criminal Record is the perfect gift for the sarcastic, antisocial bookworm who would rather cancel plans than interrupt a good chapter.
Your case file includes:
One personalised, A5-style Criminal Record printed on quality cardstock
A handmade cream case-file folder with distressed archival labels and ink stamps
A black paperclip securing the evidence
Official filing by Brenda Filing, whose patience has officially expired
Personalisation
Provide the offender's name and an optional criminal alias. Or you can select “Random” and one will be assigned by the Department of Literary Offences.
Ideal for birthdays, book bestie gifts and readers who consider socialising an entirely unnecessary activity.
Please note: This is a novelty gift, not a genuine legal document. Folder stamps and distressing are applied individually, so each case file may differ slightly.
Literary Filth — Upholding Standards. Lowering Morals.
THE DEFENDANT HAS BEEN FOUND GUILTY OF BEING AN ABSOLUTE MENACE. ⚖️
Charges include aggravated selective deafness, criminal misuse of free time and premeditated social evasion.
The defendant maintains they were simply too busy reading to respond. The court remains unconvinced.
This personalised Literary Criminal Record is the perfect gift for the sarcastic, antisocial bookworm who would rather cancel plans than interrupt a good chapter.
Your case file includes:
One personalised, A5-style Criminal Record printed on quality cardstock
A handmade cream case-file folder with distressed archival labels and ink stamps
A black paperclip securing the evidence
Official filing by Brenda Filing, whose patience has officially expired
Personalisation
Provide the offender's name and an optional criminal alias. Or you can select “Random” and one will be assigned by the Department of Literary Offences.
Ideal for birthdays, book bestie gifts and readers who consider socialising an entirely unnecessary activity.
Please note: This is a novelty gift, not a genuine legal document. Folder stamps and distressing are applied individually, so each case file may differ slightly.
Literary Filth — Upholding Standards. Lowering Morals.
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